Hi, I'm Cristian, 18 years old, living in San Francisco, so chances are my posts are going to be my adventres in SF :)
Ellen’s just like “Don’t even lie to me. I went on ‘trips’ with plenty of girls and we were ‘just friends’. I AM ELLEN, DON’T YOU DARE HIDE YOUR GAY IN MY PRESENCE.”
^ “DON’T YOU DARE HIDE YOUR GAY IN MY PRESENCE.” I literally thought Gandalf the Grey.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS [as heterosexual]!
Ellen is Gandalf the Gay
GANDALF THE GAY
For the fucking comments oh my GOD.
Ellen can smell your gay from miles away.
(Source: gfrees)
“I went vegan because I don’t think it is right to exploit animals in any way for my benefit. I have discovered so many other foods which are very nutritious and tasty and have helped me not only feel good but also enhance my athletic ability.
Being vegan has never prevented me from building size and strength and, in fact, has only helped build up my physique. The gains I make are more motivation to prove that being vegan can mean being powerful and muscular. “
-Joel Kirkilis, vegan bodybuilder
ugh I want this
![tastefullyoffensive:
[yotee]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/839357a24ef4ebf3e597294bb6113549/tumblr_mmedqaXbqW1qewacoo1_r1_500.jpg)
this douchebaggy ass woman sitting behind us has been wearing sunglasses all dinner ugh stop
nevermind she’s blind
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread for going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times.
